neaislove (neaislove) wrote,
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neaislove

Glee Fic: Gone, Not Forgotten Chapter 7

Title: Gone, Not Forgotten
Chapter: 7
Summary: When Alpha in training Blaine Anderson finds a wounded lycan in the woods all of his training is put to the test.
Rating: PG-13
A/N: And now we come to the crux of Blaine's problem.

0o0o0o0o0o

Movie night was always on Sunday. It was a great way for everyone to catch up and make new plans before everyone got busy again. The stay at home Omega's loved it because it was a great chance to send a boy to school pinning. With any luck they'd come back the next weekend hoping for a date. Their pack was in the lull where the un-mated Omegas were still too young to run off and get married but they were old enough to be thinking about it. Joanna was hoping to catch Thad's interest, bless her heart. Her campaign was about as effective as running headlong into a wall. Blaine was staying out of, as was everyone else. It was a bit of an insult to interfere with an Omega's pursuit.


Blaine wondered if Kurt would know that. Or if he'd know any of their unspoken customs or rules. It was clear to him that Kurt had never been a part of a pack, or at least he hadn't been apart of one for a long time. He watched Kurt stand awkwardly in the rec room on the edge of the action. There were couches, poufs, and futon mattresses lying everywhere with Lycan's and Were's of all ages lounging on them. Blaine's friends had nabbed a corner of the room with two futon mattresses pushed together and at least a dozen plush pillows. Even from the doorway Blaine could see the pile of snacks they were hoarding. He gave a gentle tug to Kurt's hand and tipped his head towards his friends. “Come on, they've got sweets.”

Kurt follows behind him slowly trying to take in all the smells and sounds of the room. No one seems very threatening. It's the most people he's seen in one house ever. He's struggling to understand who everyone is to each other. Kurt knows they aren't all related and that they're all like him. Do wolves normally get together like this? Is it a school or an orphanage or something? Kurt settles down next to Blaine with the boys who sang to him. Now that he's been around them a little longer they do smell more familiar to him. He doesn't remember if any of them introduced themselves or which ones pulled him from the basement. He only remembers Blaine from that.

“Want one Kurt?” Kurt turns his head and sees a soda being offered to him. He doesn't recognize the person. It's someone older than him. He smells like clean laundry and seems completely at ease with himself. Kurt takes it and scoots himself to the edge of their pile. He looks between Blaine and his friends then again out at the others scattered around. The movie isn't in yet. Right now there are still people trickling in and getting adjusted. Kurt waits for the soda man to find a seat before tugging on Blaine's sleeve.

Blaine pulls himself away from his talk with David. “Yeah?”

“Blaine...Blaine, w...who?”

Blaine chuckles and points to his friends in turn introducing them. It's all the same boys who sang to him, Jeff, David, Wes, Thad, and Nick. But Kurt's looking at him like he's an idiot so he trails off from the story he was about to tell. “These are my friends. We sang to you?” He looks back at his friends at a loss for what Kurt was really asking.

Nick is the one to figure it out. He smacks Blaine on the arm with the back of his hand and leans across him to get a better look at Kurt. “This is our pack Kurt. It's a group of Lycans and Werewolves that live together or near each other as a community. We take care of each other. We're like family.” Nick explains to Kurt like he would a human child, keeping his voice light and calm. “You can be our family too.” Kurt makes a skeptical nose and looks to Blaine again.

“Where we found you...it was a part of my parent's property. We brought you home and my mother made you better. My father is the Alpha...the leader. He keeps everyone safe. Now he's going to keep you safe too. We promise.” Blaine puts his hand over Kurt's trying to convey all the comfort he can. He nearly preens when Kurt curls into his side and settles in. Around them the people quiet just a touch as the movie starts. No one is really watching it. Most people are treating it like background noise, only intending to really watch at the best parts. It's “Bridesmaids” tonight and Blaine knows the only time the whole room will be quiet and paying attention will be during the gown trying scene.

It occurs to him that Kurt might not have seen this movie. Or any new movies. You can't rent anything on the run and how many abusive parents bring their kids out to the movies? He suddenly regrets not trying for a closer seat. But as the movie drags on and Kurt's face remains glued to the screen he doesn't show a trace of disappointment. Kurt barely pulls himself away enough to open the soda in his hand, which by then had gone warm. As the gown scene started and the room quieted down Kurt perked up. He'd obviously picked up on the change in the room. Blaine let him straighten up and watched him lean forward, the soda almost tipping out of his hand and spilling. David was kind enough to pull it from him and set it aside. Connor, sitting somewhere near the front of the room, lost it first letting out a rolling giggle as soon as Megan lets out her first sign of gas. It's not long after that, that everyone is laughing and leaning into one another. Kurt makes it all the way to the end of the scene where Lillian is sitting in the street before he starts laughing.

It's loud and not the most attractive laugh Blaine's heard. It's hard and makes him gulp and snort but it's wonderful. Everyone in the room is taking a look, some discreetly, some blatant, and everyone looks happy to hear it. When his laughter tappers off into little huffs that comes out in ones and twos someone up front rewinds it to play again. Kurt practically bounces forward on his knees to see again. This time he laughs the whole way through until his cheeks are pink. Blaine wraps his arms around Kurt's middle and pulls him back as the movie goes on. It's nice, like Kurt's a real part of the pack. The rest of the movie passes relatively quietly. Everyone is carrying on business as usual just a little quieter so Kurt can enjoy the rest of the movie. As it drew to a close and people started wandering away Kurt rocked against Blaine's side to the music. The small group of warblers pick up on his mood and start singing along with the credits. It's not their usual practiced five part harmonies. It's just them goofing off and acting like kids.

It might have been wishful thinking but Blaine could swear he heard Kurt signing along with the chorus.

Vampires posed a problem. Until Kurt's reaction in the dining room Robert hadn't considered it an option. Vampires just didn't tread on wolf territory. That didn't rule out the possibility that vampires played some role in getting Kurt into that basement. Robert and his closest friends were standing in a tense silence in his study. How they decided to move on in the next few days could affect their whole community. It was no easy task accusing vampires of committing murder. Wes's father John was the first to break the silence.

“What do we do about this?”

“Right now we do nothing. We're operating under the assumption that Kurt's never been a part of a pack before. Until he came to us he might not have known how prevalent we are. We don't know what kind of information he had access to. Hearing about vampires could have just frightened him on a basic level. We mustn't jump to conclusions. It was an interesting reaction but the fact remains that no vampire set foot on our land. A vampire did not put him in that basement. Our concern is finding whomever is responsible for his abuse and neglect. Anything else is secondary.” The last thing Robert wanted to do was get sidetracked with some wild goose chase. Kurt's well-being had to be top priority. Even if it wasn't Robert wasn't going to fall prey to vampire baiting like some of the smaller packs. The vampire council just loved ranting about the injustices they suffered at the hands of Lycans. It didn't matter to them that most of it was bullshit. Any excuse to shed blood.

If vampires had set foot on their land, if they had locked Kurt in the basement and lured some hapless human in to feed on, they would never know. Vampire's didn't smell like anything. They were a void. If a wolf was in the presence of one they'd know, they'd be able to sense the empty space around them. But after a week? Vampire's carry the nothing with them. As soon as their gone the area fills with smells again. A vampire could have stood over Kurt for hours grinding monkshood into his skin and it'd only take seconds for the environment to fill the gap where he'd once stood. But it was highly unlikely. Kurt, as tactless as it sounded, was no one important. He was just a Lycan child. A vampire wouldn't risk the wrath of the council over some boy. Kurt's reaction had to be something superficial. It had to be.

Leah wasn't on the same page. She'd always been very open to the idea that vampires wanted to bait the wolf community at any opportunity. “Robert I think we should do something about this.”

“No. We must assume that a human culprit is to blame.” Robert could see a few people bristle around the room. He growled out a warning and the room stilled. All except for Leah.

“So that boy's justice is only as important as a human life? We won't offer him anything more than that?” Leah was almost trembling with rage. Her wolf was rolling under her skin, thrashing and eager to get out and snap at it's Alpha. Robert had never understood her outright hatred for vampires. There was a underlying dislike of them among everyone but her hatred ran deeper and he just couldn't figure out why.

“Kurt's life is worth just as much as any other child's in this pack. If we provoke the vampires without cause we are inviting death to our doors.” Justice was easily won against humans who knew the risks, the laws, the consequences. It was a whole other animal fighting with vampires. They weren't governed by any laws that assimilated with modern society. The council insisted, for the most part, that they operate as they always had. The only real change was the truce with the Lycan's and the law against killing humans. And that was more for secrecy sake than compassion. He wasn't going to invite death to his door over a hunch. To get his point across he had to advance on Leah until they were almost nose to nose. He stared her down until she bowed her head in submission.

When she relented he backed away and looked to each person in turn. One by one they bowed their heads, accepting Robert's wishes. “I know we all want to find out who did this. They defiled our property. They hurt one of our own. But we can not jeopardize his safety, or the rest of this pack's, by chasing hunches. We need to be smart.” Robert leaned back against his desk. He buried his head in his hand and sighed. There was too much going on. Between this and Blaine's sudden refusal to take the role of Alpha Robert felt drained. He'd have to get Malaya to talk to him. Everett wasn't budging and Robert knew better than to push.

“Let's just...let's pick this up again in the morning. We'll keep on like we have and I'll make a few calls.” The men trickled out first, John pulled Leah out after him. Malaya took a deep breath and sat at Robert's desk. He heard a light thunk signaling Mal propping her feet on the desk.

“I don't think vampires have anything to do with this.”

“Neither do I but,” Robert sighed and turned to face his wife, his hands braced on the desk, “Leah obviously thinks this is something to be pursued. Biased or not we can't shut her out. She's my Beta Mal and she's hardly ever wrong.”

“I understand dear, just don't let it get out of hand okay.” Malaya leaned back in the office chair, her hands clasped over her stomach. She really wasn't concerned about the vampires. Most of them steered clear of Ohio out of pure principle. What was really weighing on her mind was Kurt's condition. He was almost to the point where he could talk in complete sentences. The last of the cobwebs were clearing from his mind. The Omega's told her that he'd asked for his father which was troubling. Malaya wouldn't be able to get a proper read on his psyche until he was one hundred percent cleared of the monkshood. But besides that one moment of weakness Kurt hadn't shown any signs of wanting to leave. He'd only been out and about for one day but even kept to the bed he hadn't shown the want to go outside. He hadn't lingered at the window or tried to get out of bed. Which meant he was either use to containment, which she was leaning towards, or he was just happy to be in a pack setting.

If it were up to her she would just have them wash their hands of the whole vampire theory. She wasn't in charge though. Just before Robert took control of the pack he offered her the position as Beta. Most Alpha's took a mate with pack politics in mind. It just wasn't their style and though she'd been flattered by the offer she turned it down. Leading wasn't her style. She was all for standing beside her man, in a time of dire need or otherwise, but she didn't want to be limited by a title. She helped how she could and left it at that. During times like this however she regretted it. If she were Beta she'd be scouring through missing children reports, human missing children reports. “Have we heard back from the police yet?”

“Nothing yet. They were looking for missing Lycan's from the past couple of years. I told the chief to extend the time frame back farther.”

“How much farther?”

“Nineteen Ninety Seven. If we go back any farther we're not going to find anything. I can't recall ever hearing about a baby being taken.” It would have been national news. Robert didn't think the widened search would yield anything new. He knew that he'd just have to get Kurt talking. Their approach would have to be delicate. And even so there's no guarantee that Kurt will ever expose who hurt him.

“Robert what did Blaine have to say about becoming Alpha?” In her heart Malaya knew that Blaine had made a mountain out of a molehill. If he'd thought he'd taken some sort of sexual advantage over Kurt it couldn't have been anything rash. In the emotional state he was in Kurt would have branded Blaine as an attacker. He would never have asked for Blaine or remained calm during visits. Whatever happened has to be something that's just weighing heavily on Blaine's mind. Not being one hundred percent positive on the details, Malaya is reluctant to come forward. Surely Robert wouldn't make him step down over something small like that. She respected her husband and the fact that she'd refused Beta privileges but she was still his wife, the mother of his children. If Blaine had shared something that troubled him she should have the right to know, even if it's pack business.

Robert rounded the desk, playfully knocking Malaya's feet of the desk and sitting on it in front of her. “He said that he didn't feel he could be trusted in the position. And when I mentioned as much to you, you didn't seem surprised. So how about you share?”

Malaya twists the corner of her mouth down in a frown. He hadn't told her anything she hadn't already known. “After the boys sang to Kurt they got into a little puppy pile. I left to give them some space. When I got back it was just Blaine and Kurt. They looked...flushed. And Blaine looked guilty.”

“You think he took advantage?”

Malaya scowled and stood. She leaned into Robert and rested her cheek on his collarbone. “I think at most he got in a little intense necking before he came to his senses. We've all done that.” She rubs her cheek against his shirt and takes a deep breath. It feels like home. “We did the same thing when we were young.”

“You weren't sick.”

Malaya scoffed and pulled away from her husband's embrace just enough to look him in the eye. “At most they rolled around and kissed. Monkshood shuts down higher level processes. If he reciprocated he wanted it on an instinctual level. His wolf wanted it. If anything happened.”

“But does Blaine see it that way?” Robert caught Malaya's chin as she tried to turn away. “And does Kurt? When he comes too will he think it's okay? Does he even connect with his wolf? For all we know he's been locked up for every transformation. And if we've come to that conclusion then we know Blaine has. Our boy isn't dumb Mal.” Robert stroked his thumb over Malaya's chin then down her throat. Their wolves knew, smelt it on each other when they were young. Younger than Blaine and Kurt even. Werewolves? The turned didn't have it so easy. The ones who were raised by rouges and didn't understand the lore or the customs they had trouble handling some of the more basic instincts. Blaine was sensitive to those thoughts. It was one of the many qualities that would make him a great Alpha.

“You didn't answer my question. What did Blaine have to say about passing the title?”

Now it was Robert's turn to scoff and lean away. He rested more heavily on the desk and took a moment to collect himself. “He said he couldn't be trusted. That he felt he wasn't the type of man who should hold the responsibility of Alpha. He said he would be a disappointment to the pack and that Everett agreed to take on the training again.”

“Did he?”

“Not really. Everett asked to speak with me alone. He says he's just going through the motions until Blaine comes to his senses. He can't be Alpha. He knows that.”

“Kids.” The two of them are quiet for a moment, faces still serious. Then the tension breaks, like a wire snapping and their laughing, huddling into each other and letting this moment wash out the stale sadness that had sank in around them.

The morning before the full moon was full of activity. Thus far Blaine hadn't gotten the chance to speak with Kurt properly. His mother had gone down early to help the Omega's prepare a hearty breakfast and had taken a bowl for herself and Kurt to the guest room. He knew it was because his mom needed to brief him on what was going to happen. They all had to face the possibility that this was Kurt's first free run and that he'd be a danger to himself or others. Despite being able to say more and more each day he still couldn't string together full sentences and he changed the subject every time they tried to mention his past. Everyone thought it best not to push it.

To keep himself from getting too worked up Blaine scarfed down a large helping of oatmeal and syrup smothered pancakes. He weaved past the Omega's offering them a hollered thank you as he ran outside. He still planned on wearing himself out before the moon to keep himself from doing anything untoward with Kurt tonight. The day of the full moon always left him feeling listless and hyperactive. It seemed that he just couldn't get comfortable unless he was moving. Today he was going to capitalize on that. He'd run all morning then lift weights in the afternoon. Then before the run he'd box. By the time the moon rose he'd be too exhausted to do more than chase a token squirrel or two.

And if for some reason he still ran after Kurt Wes was under strict instructions to subdue him using any means necessary. Blaine hoped it wouldn't come to that. Beta or not Wes might get into quite a fight if he stood between an alpha and a potential mate. He was hoping that being tired would discourage him. Or that Wes's sheer no nonsense presence would curb his enthusiasm. It would have to. Blaine didn't think he could live with himself if it didn't.

Running was therapeutic. Blaine could narrow his mind down to the thudding of his sneakers on pavement and the steady in, out of his breathing. The smells of his neighborhood dulled under the smell of his own sweat and the freshly cut grass. It was a good day to run. Everyone was in high spirits, the sun was out, and the wolf under his skin was stretching with him. They were in sync today. A lot of Lycan's felt content the day of the moon in a way they weren't on any other day. That's why Blaine weaved in and out of fellow runners or kids playing ball. They weren't doing it to exhaust themselves though. They were just trying to enjoy the feeling, enjoy the bright sunny morning that would come less and less as winter approached.

As Blaine ran he wondered what type of Lycan Kurt would be. As a mix he could fall into the small percentage that got lethargic during the day. It would be a sight to see, a ruffled pink cheeked Kurt slumping into people and taking cat naps. Not as cute, his mind supplied, as if Kurt were to fall into the even smaller percentage of wolves who grew inexplicably affectionate the morning of the moon. Those wolves spent their day itching to be touched. The mated ones could scarcely be seen outside their rooms until it was moonrise. A group of girls ran past Blaine giggling. He was shocked to see that he'd come almost to a complete stand still. Blaine shook his head to clear away the unsavory thoughts and picked up his pace. He ran so hard and fast that the force of his feet hitting the pavement sent pricks of pain up his feet and ankles. He ran until his shirt soaked through with sweat and his chest was heaving. When he finally felt himself tire he was at the end of the compound, standing at the opening of the street that leads to the houses. Blaine bounces in place a few times and brings his arms up into a high twist to loosen up his back. Then he's running again, keeping the same brutal pace all the way up to his house. He's not sure how many times he circled the compounds many streets but he's managed to work out his excess energy and then some.

Rather than let himself rest Blaine continues his circuit walking around his house, doing lap after lap until lunch time. He nearly had to drag himself into the house. And although it wouldn't be considered odd to sit at a Lycan table after a workout he was sure being absolutely ripe with body odor and drenched in sweat would be pushing the boundaries. With some small amount of regret Blaine bypasses the dining room and goes upstairs to change. Once again he pulls on loose fitting work out clothes because after he's eaten he's going straight to the weight room.

Blaine manages to summon the energy to jog down the stairs and into the dining room. He smells a bit better now but not as good as some would like he's sure. Deodorant can only do so much for their sensitive noses. He takes his seat next to David who usually cares the least about offensive body odor. He's on the lacrosse team at school and he's gotten rather use to the stink. Lunch isn't the grand affair that dinner is so people drift in and out as they please. Most of them just grab a plate and go to their rooms or out onto the lawns. Blaine suspects that's where the Omega's are. The day before the moon the house always reeks of pheromones. They should be ready for a breath of fresh air by now. Underneath his own lingering stench Blaine can smell the thick herb filled stew setting in two big steaming pots. Today they'll eat a heavy lunch and a light dinner. Then in the morning the pack will eat enough pancakes and hashbrowns to choke an elephant.

Mouth stuffed full of beef and potato Blaine caught a whiff of something wonderful. It was caramel. For a brief moment Blaine closed his eyes and prayed that his mother was simply bringing out a desert. She wasn't. Of course she wasn't. Being too dumbfounded to say hello David did so for him. “Afternoon Mrs. Anderson. Kurt.” David nods and smiles to them both then slides the bowl of stew closer to them. Malaya pours a generous helping into Kurt's bowl before taking her own. “Eating with us Mrs. Anderson?”

“Not today dears. I thought I'd go bother my husband today.” She smiles fondly at the thought. After a moment she runs her hand through Kurt's hair and looks to Blaine. “Keep an eye on him. He's the sleepy sort.” Under her hand Kurt hums and nuzzles up into her touch. As her hand slides away his face drops back down to look at his food. Blaine doesn't stop his groan from escaping. Kurt looks every bit as adorable as he'd thought. His cheeks are stained a heavy pink and his hair is flopping over his forehead drawing Blaine to look at his sleepy blue eyes. He looks like he's been well rutted and Blaine doesn't think he has the composure to deal with it right now. The wolf rolling under his skin is proof enough that he hasn't tired himself out. David of course thinks it's hilarious. He wasn't aware of Blaine's moral dilemma but he was very well versed in flustered teenage boy.

“If you're feeling tired we can watch a movie. Or maybe we could lay in the backyard? It's warmer today.” While David speaks he puts a gentle hand on Kurt's lower back. He's always had a comforting presence about him. Kurt doesn't seem much interested in anything at the moment though. He's thoroughly engrossed in the stew, eating slowly but with such large bites he'd be done in no time at all. Seeing him now it was hard to believe that Blaine had once had to spoon him broth. David seemed a little impressed too but had the tact not to say anything. That didn't stop either of them from watching in awe as Kurt shoveled great heaping globs of stew into his mouth with all the speed of an old man eating sweets. Even at his slow pace he finished before either of them and simply pushed away his bowl when he was done. With little fanfare he rested his head on his folded arms and drifted into a light sleep while David and Blaine finished up their second helpings.

When Blaine is sure that Kurt is under enough to not overhear he pulls David to lean in. As quietly as he can Blaine pleads his case. “Keep him busy. Please. Just...keep us apart okay.” Blaine's eyes bore seriously into David's. He can not stress this enough. He needs to distance himself from Kurt today and tonight at all costs. David wants to protest. He doesn't even know what's going on between the two of them. But he knows Blaine is going through something serious. There was talk, just whispers, of Blaine stepping down as Alpha in training. He'd do anything to help Blaine, to get his Alpha back. David nods once and turns his full attention to Kurt who is dozing softly on the table.

Point made Blaine clears his throat and takes one final bite of stew. It's a great glob of potato and meat with gravy dripping down the spoon handle. He struggles to swallow it, ignoring the stretch and burn on his throat and coughs it off. Then he's up from the table and striding away like his heels are on fire. Kurt doesn't seem to notice his departure. Once Blaine is clear of the main floor of the house he lets himself breathe properly again. The basement is free from the smell of caramel, instead it wraps Blaine in the smell of cedar and stone. The basement has gone through many changes since the house was built. In it's inception it served as a holding cell for violent wolves who fought and killed anyone that wanted to fall in line under the Anderson's. Thankfully that was short lived. It was converted into a food storage room lined with jar after jar of preserves and flavored oils. That's where the pack originally got it's money. Nowadays the Anderson family owns the controlling share in a preserves company that keeps the compound afloat.

Once the preserves moved into a warehouse the basement was converted into a rec room which in time turned into what it is now. It's a fully equipped gym of sorts, great for teenage boys with too much energy and time on their hands. Blaine's favorite thing was the heavy bag in the corner. When he strapped on his gloves and started punching the bag the rest of the world didn't seem so bad. It was almost as good as running. While that connected more with his wolf, boxing was something the human side of Blaine loved entirely. It also never failed to tire him. That's why he stayed away from it on principle on the days of the full moon. He'd never felt the need to punish himself in this way.

Blaine spent hours at the bag punching and panting, until he was drowning in his own sweat and his knuckles were past sore and into numb. By the time he dropped his arms to his sides he felt he'd never lift them again. The weight of his gloves alone seemed too much for his tired arms to bare. Blaine pants and rests his forehead against the cool leather of the bag. For a moment he just lets himself breathe. As his raging heart slows back to a normal pace he pulls away and blinks the sweat from his eyes. Standing at the base of the stairs is Everett. Blaine takes it as a sign of his desperation that he didn't even smell his brother's entrance. “Yeah?”

Everett uncrosses his arms and slowly crosses to stand a couple of feet away from Blaine. “It won't work.”

“What?”

Everett waves his arm at the bag and Blaine's disheveled appearance. “This. Whatever this is. It won't work.” He slides effortlessly to the bag and gives it a gentle shove. It sways. Blaine follows it with his eyes. If he were younger the minuet display of strength would frighten him. Instead it steadies him. Everett is the picture of strength, of an Alpha. Everything he isn't.

“I'm just...being cautious.”

“You don't have to be. You could always just, I don't know, apologize.” Everett pushes the bag again, this time swinging it hard into Blaine. His brother stops it an inch from his face with his forearm. “Normal people apologize.”

Blaine shakes his head, his sweaty curls flying everywhere. “If this is about me being Alpha—“

“This isn't about you or me being anything Blaine this is about you feeling guilty and you needing to do something about that guilt.” He waited for Blaine to say something, anything, but his brother was deep in thought. Everett wasn't sure what his brother was doing. No one was really sure. Whatever it was couldn't be as bad as Blaine was making it. His brother was many things and sometimes a drama queen was one of them. It was something that needed to be addressed. Blaine couldn't lead if he bottled everything inside like this, if he jumped to conclusions and didn't turn to his peers for help. That's what Beta's were for. Blaine was proving himself to be a poor fit for Alpha indeed. But it wasn't something he couldn't improve on in time. “You need to act like an adult Blaine.”

Blaine's brow furrows as he grits his teeth and scowls. He is acting like an adult. He's owning up to his mistake and making sure that it never happens again. He's taking every precaution to ensure that no harm will come to Kurt ever again at his hand. “I did something wrong.”

“What? What could you have possibly done to deserve this little exile?” Everett can't imagine a single thing that his sweet, darling little brother could have done that could be half as devastating as Blaine thinks it is.

“I...” Blaine looks down and away from his brother. His face flushes with shame. “I kissed him. He was sick and delirious and I took advantage of him. I knew him for a day and I wanted to mate with him. I wanted...” Blaine blinked against the burning tears building in his eyes. Saying it out loud made him feel even more ashamed. He didn't feel the weight lifting from him that so many others said accompanied a confession. He felt only a deep burning shame like he'd confessed a crime to the police.

“Oh Blaine.” Everett makes to comfort his brother but stops. Blaine had twitched and obviously didn't want his attention. It wasn't so bad as he thought. Bad yes, but not horrible. Blaine didn't deserve to be condemned for a little overstep. The amount of times Everett had caught young wolves being untoward to potential mates, it was staggering. When pheromones ran high things happened. Mistakes were made and sometimes they were big, other times small. He himself had nearly mounted a girl once. Only his father's sharp teeth at the base of his neck was enough to hold him at bay. There were times when Everett swore he could feel the phantom pain of teeth clamping down.

He takes a deep calming breath and puts his hands on Blaine's shoulders. He ignores the rolling shoulders and tries to catch Blaine's eye. “It happens Blaine. It happens to almost every dominate wolf in this pack and nearly half of everyone else. We're animals Blaine. Living in a nice house, going to private school, being civilized doesn't change that. We don't govern ourselves with the same rules as the rest of the world.”

“Kurt didn't consent.”

“How do you know?”

Blaine growled and ripped himself away from Everett. His gloved fists shoved at his chest uselessly riling Blaine up even more. “I know because he was sick. He is sick. He can't even really talk Everett. How can he consent?”

Everett steps in close to his brother and stoops his head to try and catch Blaine's eye. “He couldn't talk. What if he did want it and just couldn't ask?” Everett raises what he thinks is a valid question. The effects of monkshood on surviving wolves isn't fully understood. There are so few cases of people being saturated to the degree Kurt was and living. It's almost unprecedented. For all they knew Kurt was locked in an uncooperative body well and sane.

“Don't.” Blaine slips out of his brother's grasp and pulls off his gloves. The air in the basement is thick with tension and Everett isn't sure how it's going to snap. Blaine appears calm, in the way that hints a brewing storm. Everett watched placidly as Blaine dropped his gloves and left the room like nothing had happened. It didn't bode well for tonight. If Blaine had planned to tire his wolf out all of his hard work will have gone down the drain come moonrise. Nothing raises the hackles of a wolf like pent up aggression. By the time they'd all transformed Blaine would be filled with so much energy they'd have to dedicate half the pack to keeping him away from Blaine.

Not that Everett would allow it. Regardless of the fact that his Alpha in training title was a farce it still held sway. As of now Robert was willing to allow Everett the prestige and privilege that came with the title, including the say in what went during the run. He could tell that Robert was just as ready as he was to wash his hands of the whole thing and if he said it would be best to let Blaine at Kurt tonight then Robert would look the other way. Malaya wouldn't like it but she couldn't do much. It wasn't her place.

Blaine couldn't believe his brother. Of all the things he could say. Weren't older brothers suppose to mentor their siblings? Weren't they suppose to have kind words and solutions to unfathomable problems? Everett had basically told him that what he'd done was okay. It wasn't. It wasn't okay by any definition. It wasn't even about the kiss, which in itself is bad. What Blaine is worried about is the fact that he wanted to do more. He wanted to take more and the wolf in him decided that he was entitled to that. In those few moments Kurt's body was forfeit to his baser instincts. That was not okay. He didn't want to be the type of person that had that kind of violent potential inside of him. And he didn't want to take advice from someone who thought that type of potential was normal.

They weren't animals. They were Lycan. They were better than animals. In the old stories it was said that Lycan's came to be when a man fell in love with the moon. The moon watched the man every night, offering him her light and love. But the man grew ill. A human man was not meant to spend his life in only the light of the moon. The moon was at a loss for how to help her lover and tried only to shine brighter. But she had to wane. It was her nature. And it is also the nature of the wolves to hunt. When her light left and the man was to rest a wolf bit him. The man bled and cried and waited for his beautiful moon to come back to him so he could say goodbye. So he could feel her love one last time. And when the moon saw what had happened she shined her light down on him so hard he changed. She could not save his human body but guided by her light his spirit found a home in the wolf that bit him. When the morning came and she had to leave he became human again. And when the moon shone brightest and the man felt her love he became a wolf and sang to her and ran under her guidance.

So they weren't animals. They were blessed. Blessed by love. Blaine wasn't stupid enough to think that's how it really happened. He wasn't sure what the truth was on that. But the fact remained that they were creatures conceived in love. Blaine couldn't lead his people if he was so ready to throw those morals away. And more than that, on a personal level he knew he needed to work on himself. He was impulsive. He bottled up the important stuff and fretted over the little things. He was just...Blaine sometimes felt like he was too big for his skin. Like there was too much of him inside and sometimes the extra just came shaking out. It was a fundamental part of him and he wasn't sure if he could change.

Before Kurt it hadn't seemed like a problem. But before Kurt Blaine had never really been put to the test. He'd simply been going through the motions living each day under the thought that someday he'd be a leader. But he hadn't know what that meant. Not really. And now he did and he just wasn't up to snuff. It was better this way really. Blaine couldn't imagine the fallout if he'd come to this revelation after he'd taken the title officially.

He punched the wall just before he left the basement. The rough cinder block wall tore his knuckles and brought his focus to the small itching pain at the split skin. He took a few deep breaths before opening the basement door and heading back up to his room. It was late, almost time to go outside for the change. About this time each full moon people started packing away their day and grabbing a light snack. Parent's didn't bother bathing children and girls didn't fuss with their hair and makeup. An outsider might assume the whole compound was settling in for a lazy night in. It wasn't until six o'clock that people started trickling into the main houses' back yard to look up at the moon. Everyone would be nude. Which is why the compound was gated. During the day of the full moon the gates were kept password controlled and locked for everyone's protection. The gates didn't run the entire length of the property. They were more for show, a warning to stay away.
Tags: au, blaine anderson, fic, gone not forgotten, klaine, kurt hummel
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